Turning 38

I remember the morning of my 30th birthday so clearly. I’d been up throughout the night feeding my newborn daughter, a digital piano had just been delivered (my present), and was sitting in a huge box in the middle of our living room floor, and my wife asked me how I felt about “the big three zero”. I knew that I was supposed to freak out about hitting my 3rd decade, but it didn’t seem to phase me at all.

I recall feeling as though I’d achieved quite a lot up to that point. I’d made it through school, partied for 10 years, landed a job that paid well, bought a house, got married and had 2 beautiful children. Things were on track, and I had no regrets.

I wish I could say that I feel as blasé about approaching 40!

Life got difficult after the big three zero. Sure, becoming a parent is the best thing you will ever do…but it’s tough! Over the next 8 years we went through some truly hard times! We’ve experienced loss, financial despair, all the stress that comes with being a parent, and a long list of problems that make me shudder when I think about them. So much of who I was, has been lost. I now have anxieties, stress, overwhelm and FOMO to deal with.

You might be wondering why I’m stressing about turning 40 when I’ve only just turned 38, but the reason is that I still have things that I want to have achieved before hitting the next phase of my life.

I think I’ve done a good job over the last 8 years, and I can hold my head high, knowing that I’ve been there for my family every step of the way, but what about milestones that I wanted to hit? What about the things that I wanted to achieve for myself?

If one thing’s for sure, it’s that I want to be able to look at myself in the mirror on my 40th birthday, and know that I’ve done my best. I want to be proud of myself, and to make the people I love proud of me.

So, what’s it going to take to get me there?

Buying a new house

I’ve wanted to move to a bigger/better house for as long as I can remember, but until recently, I’ve not had the time or the headspace to work on making more money. Life has a funny way of moving on, whether you’re paying attention or not, and I’ve been so wrapped up with parenting that I’ve neglected to dedicate the time and effort needed to build a business…until now!

House prices have sky rocketed over the last 5 years, which (prompted by the pandemic) means that people have ploughed their hard earned equity back into developing their properties instead of moving, and just as the market began to level out a little - mortgage rates went through the roof!

Never despair though! - that’s my motto. All this means, is that I’m going to have to make more money to counteract this terrible bastard of an economy!

It may seem “pie in the sky” at first glance, but instead of needing £1500 a month for my mortgage - it’s going to be more like £3000 a month - which isn’t unattainable!

Enter captain smarty pants and his business plan…

Leaving my job for greener pastures

Next on the list of things that will make me not want to kill myself in 2 years, is the plan to leave my job and stride out on my own in the world of entrepreneurship. I’ve worked horrible shifts for far too long, in a job that doesn’t fulfil me in the slightest, so I’m going to chuck it in and seize control of my time and earning power.

It always amazes me, how intense the fear can feel when you make a big decision. Leaving your job is scary, especially when you have mountains of responsibility…and bills, but like a wise man once said “if you want to make an omelette - you’ve got to break some eggs”.

Broadening my network

One of the things I’ve noticed that happens when you become a parent, is that you quickly lose your social life. Nights at the pub with friends become a thing of the past, and tequila shots get swapped out for gripe water and nappies.

I’m not saying that I want to spend my time loping around pubs and clubs, but I do want to spend more time interacting with my friends.

A gap has formed between me and my social life, and instead of investing time with people that energise me - I spend most of my time making small talk with parents in the playground.

So, I’ve got two years to build a business, buy a new house, leave my job and become a social butterfly. Watch this space!